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S. Elliot Patterson

Experienced web developer, database administrator & information technologist, primarily in sustainable agriculture & nonprofit sector, looking to get paid to dick around with tabular data. At each stage of my employment, I’ve seen the power of organized data to transform the capacity of organizations. I’m happiest unfucking csv exports, reverse-engineering other people’s code, and facilitating Agile processes within nonprofit teams.



Web devData ShitOther Stuff
WordPressExcel (Advanced)Adobe
DiviBuilderR (barely)Illustrator
Gravity FormsJQuery & GRELPhotoshop
HTML, CSS, PHPAccessQuickbooks Desktop
ShopifyAirtTableWebgility Unify
Liquid custom templatesSalesforce Admin, custom objectsFacebook Ads
Git & GitHubAccessGoogle Analytics
JoomlaGoogle Ads


Communications and Marketing Director
Organic Growers School, Asheville NC — Oct 2018 – Present
Design and implementation of website, social media, graphic design and marketing plan for all departments and programs; database design, administration and staff training

SalesForce Data Administrator
Organic Growers School, Asheville NC — June 2018 – Oct 2018
Transferred customer and sales data from Quickbooks Online, Google Sheets into Salesforce for Nonprofits using Excel, Access, SQL

Website Developer and I.T.
Sow True Seed, Asheville NC — March 2017 – Oct 2018
Responsible for ecommerce website and integrations, Access inventory databases, information technology support

Accounting Assistant
Mountain Times Publications, Boone, NC — Aug 2016 – March 2017
Accounts Receivable, accounts and collections, production of legal classified ads

Database Technician
ECRS, Boone, NC — Nov 2015 – Aug 2016
Formatted .csv exports from client’s retail grocery inventory management systems, imported into ECRS software Catapult for custom software and equipment installation

Nonprofit Project Coordinator
High Country CSA, Boone, NC — March 2013 – Oct 2015
Managed customer relationships, grant writing and reporting, budgets, invoices and payments, production schedules and weekly orders for 5 farms, website and Facebook page administration, weekly newsletter, recipe demonstrations, relationships with site hosts, intern hiring and administration, management of EBT payments including voucher redemption and site approval, packing and delivery of 150 weekly produce boxes



How to Use Access to Clean Fucked Up Quickbooks Exports

What do you do when you're handed a .csv containing upwards of 10,000 records, spanning over a decade of data entry, containing god knows how many duplicate records that are nearly unidentifiable because can't nobody spell the same thing twice, and Excel keeps...

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Workflow Process Analysis

Initial evaluation: Registration Software not working, unable to retain staff for registration position, how to make this easier. Need for improved Sponsor tracking, Google Sheets + QBO +Asana are inadequate, database is desired, SalesForce was problematic. Need for...

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SalesForce Custom Objects

Issue tracking & process are recorded in Drive, November 2018. Explain current system, with screenshots if possible (is that ethical?), write up how you did the thing, and pretend it was more than just 1- check the documentation 2- do the...

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Woo POS, Unify-> QB, Custom Order Status

We're testing out the WooCommerce POS plugin for our retail store, to hopefully replace Quickbooks POS for a bunch of reasons. We currently run our ecommerce using the Woocommerce plugin for Wordpress. But because our accounting happens in Quickbooks, all online...

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Custom Order Status (Woocommerce)

Thanks to the handy instructions at I'm testing a solution to a problem we experience with our online store. I'll be modifying the code from the above post a little bit, and I'll walk through the...

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that one time i got pissed off and made a database

let’s pretend the city council tracker project is a real thing

also tagging city council videos with tom


1995 Bluebird TC2000 Skoolie Conversion











Hey look, it’s Airtable. Oh, and here’s a thing using TablePress.


that other time i got pissed off and made a database

Joomla Sucks

OGS Infographics: fuck your surveymonkey exports